Wait, How Old Did You Say You Are?
by The Queen of Double Standards
Summary: Gather round for the story of how Meiko met Rin at a bar, kissed her thinking she was an adult, went on a first date and really didn't like her, and yet somehow ended up as her girlfriend. MeikoxRin shoujo-ai oneshot


**Culture Note: Oniichan is a way of saying 'big brother' in Japan.**

**Wait, How Old Did You Say You Are?**

"That jackass!" Meiko exclaimed as she slammed her purse down on the bar counter. She whipped her angry gaze to the bartender and snapped, "Gimme whatever you got that'll knock tonight right outta my head! Hell, I'll even take a hammer! Just bash it against my head and help me forget that jackass ever existed!"

The bartender, a short girl with the hood of a university hoodie covering her head so that the yellow of her hair barely showed, raised an amused eyebrow at the woman and promptly filled a shot glass, placing it before the brunette. As Meiko swallowed the harsh liquid, the other woman wondered, "Rough night?"

"More," Meiko ordered first, glaring suspiciously at the woman while she downed the next vial of liquid. Satisfied that the woman had no ill intentions, she stated, "My friend, you know him, he's got the blue hair like some sorta freak show, yeah that guy, he set me up with this jackass friend a his who dint even show up! Can ya imagine? He goes on 'n' on 'bout how perfect this jackass is fer me and I get all excited and get this stupid dress 'n' all and then the jackass dint even show up! Y'no'wut?" She leaned toward the bartender, who handed her another shotglass which Meiko swiftly swallowed before saying a loud, confidential whisper, "I bet they knew e wusn' gunna show up, yeah? They knew, they jus' wanned ta screw me over 'cause men 're allllll . . . ." She stopped there and stared at the bartender expectantly, knowing that, as a fellow person of the female variety, the yellow-haired woman would know what all men were.

With a smirk, the woman offered, "Jackasses?"

Meiko studied the woman for a moment after drawing back her fourth shot. "Y'no'wut? I think I like you, Lily." She'd noticed the name scrawled on the woman's hoodie. The yellow-haired woman glanced down curiously to where Meiko was looking.

"Are you staring at my chest?" Lily wondered.

Meiko broke into a hearty laugh at that and argued, "But ya haven' got anythin' there, ya stupid woman!"

"That's okay, my sisters don't, either," sighed the woman, pouting a little. "Of course, considering one of them is only nine, that's not saying much."

"Heyheyhey, Lily!" announced Meiko, leaning over the bar to get the woman's attention. She felt like doing something stupid tonight, just to wash everything away. "D'you know where that purple-haired guy's gone?"

"He left me in charge while he went to hook up with some teal-haired bimbo," the bartender muttered, scowling.

Meiko pouted. Well, if her first stupid idea wouldn't pan out, she might as well go for the second. After swallowing another shot and slamming her hands on the bar to regain Lily's attention, she exclaimed, "Let's hook up!"

Lily laughed and stated, "You're completely wasted, huh?"

The last thing Meiko could remember before blacking out was leaning all the way over the bar and kissing the bartender.

. . .

And so came the walk of shame into the pub the next day. Meiko begrudgingly placed one foot before the other, pouting a little as she went. She hated having to do this, go ask the bartender what had happened the previous night. Hopefully it wouldn't be the same one. It would be less embarrassing if she were to talk to the usual, Gakupo, instead.

Luckily, luck was in her favour. And she entered, she immediately caught sight of the purple-haired man. So, she easily strode toward the bar and took a seat, gazing up at him, very annoyed with the man.

"Where were you last night?" she snapped. She stuck up her nose and proclaimed indignantly, "I came in here all depressed because some jackass didn't show up, expecting the comfort of the only sane man in the world, but you weren't here. I was stuck with that blonde chick instead."

"Lily, stop pissing off the customers!" Gakupo called over his shoulder, smiling fondly at Meiko as he turned back to her. "There we go."

"Screw you, bastard," snapped a yellow-haired woman, tugging sharply on Gakupo's ponytail. "I pissed off no one last night."

Meiko stared at Lily for a moment, contemplating. That looked like her, but something seemed off. The blonde caught her staring and snapped, "What?"

"Did I kiss you last night?" Meiko asked bluntly.

Gakupo and Lily both froze, blanching for a moment before simultaneously burning a bright red. "What the hell are you talking about?" Lily exclaimed, traumatized. "I don't just kiss random drunk chicks!"

"I asked if I kissed you, not if you kissed me," Meiko said, scowling a little as she took offence.

"Neither happened, so shut up!" Lily barked.

"Oniichan?"

Gakupo cast a witheringly look past Meiko, who had frozen stiff as she recognized that voice. "Now's not a good time, Rin."

"What's going on?" the girl, Rin, wondered, walking past Meiko, her school uniform sailor suit fluttering as she placed her bag on the bar counter. Then, she glanced at Meiko and grinned. "Oh, it's you."

"S-s-schoolgirl?" Meiko stuttered, staring wide-eyed at the girl. "B-b-but, you were running the bar. You were in a university hoodie."

Lily and Gakupo glanced into between the two girl, confused, as Rin shrugged. "Oniichan left me in charge for a bit while he was out and I was cold, so I grabbed his hoodie. How else would a fourteen-year-old have that, goof?"

"F-f-fourteen? B-b-but I k-k-k-ki—" She cut herself off, horrified.

Rin smiled innocently and turned away, preparing to depart. "Just so you know, it didn't go any farther than that. If you want it to go farther, you have to take me on a proper date first."

"Date?" Lily and Gakupo exclaimed as Rin laughed and disappeared into another room. Then, they turned furious eyes onto Meiko, who raised her hands in surrender.

. . .

"Meiko-san!" Rin called, shooting off of the bench where she'd been waiting and dashing toward the brunette woman. Meiko wanted to groan as all those gazes fell on the young girl and then the older woman, wondering what their situation was. Rin's clothes would've been a dead give-away were she with a boy her age, but the same standards didn't seem to apply in this situation. Her ruffled pink skirt covered pale nylons, and a dainty white spaghetti-strap top was pulled tightly over the girl's body, protruding from under a thin, pale blue sweater. Her hair was even waved for the occasion, a flower barette sitting atop her head. The girl giggled and hugged her tiny arms around one of Meiko's. "I wasn't sure if you'd come."

"Well, here I am," the woman replied, humiliated by all the gazes on her. Gakupo and Lily had forced her into this after Rin had nagged them continuously to see Meiko again. Meiko questioned exactly how drunk she must have been to have thought this childish girl was a university student.

"Let's go to a movie!" Rin suggested, beaming up at the woman.

"Isn't that something people typically do on dates?" Meiko questioned skeptically, gazing anywhere but at the girl.

"Of course it is," Rin scoffed, laughing. She narrowed her eyes seductively at the woman, the feeling of those eyes forcing Meiko to look toward her. "And if you do it right, I'll keep my promise."

Meiko burned bright red, causing Rin to explode into laughter. The woman scowled. What a brat. Meiko pulled her arm roughly away and snapped, "Come on, let's go."

"Who are you talking to?" Rin questioned cheekily, refusing to follow Meiko as Meiko continued to walk.

Being forced to stop and stare back at the younger girl, Meiko stated, "You, of course."

"Say my name," Rin requested. "I won't move until you do."

Meiko sighed. She didn't care enough to argue. "Come on, Rin-chan."

Rin grinned, satisfied, and skipped toward the woman, latching onto her arm once more. Meiko could already tell that she didn't like this girl. After today, she'd have appeased Gakupo and Lily, and then she'd never have to see this girl again. Just one date, that's all it took.

. . .

"Gimme another one!" Meiko drawled to Gakupo, who smirked at her with that stupid look his sister constantly wore. He obliged and shifted another glass of sake over to her. "Bottoms up!"

However, as Meiko was about to take her first sip of the beverage, fingers jabbed into either side of her, causing her to jump and scream, sending the liquids flying all over her. Meiko whimpered a little at the spilled alcohol and gazed at the culprit, a younger blonde girl, seventeen years old.

"Rin," Meiko whined as the girl laughed. "Wha'd'you do that for?"

"To see that face," Rin replied joyously. "It was worth it. Besides, what are you doing drinking when we have a date tonight?"

"Ish exactly why I'm drinking," Meiko grumbled, looking down at the table stubbornly.

"Jerk," Rin pouted playfully, sticking out her tongue at the woman. "I'm going to go get ready, alright?" She gazed at her brother and questioned, "Can you believe her? Three years and she's still like this."

"Oh God, ishit an ananaiversary?" Meiko struggled to form the last word, knitting her brow in concentration.

"That was four days ago, stupid," Rin retorted. She sighed and shook her head. "You're hopeless."

"Yeah, Gakkun!" the brunette redirected to the purple-haired boy. "Yer hopeless!"

"Oh dear," Rin sighed, smiling fondly at her date. "Try to sober up within the next ten minutes, okay?"

"You know what you were getting' inu!" Meiko argued. "I was drunk when we met, doncha remember?"

"Of course I remember. I seriously want to get out of this uniform though so wait up a second." With that, the blonde disappeared while her girlfriend and siblings remained.

"Three years, huh?" Lily questioned. "Must've been fate, I guess. Still kind of weird, even if she's older now."

A thought ventured through Meiko's drunken mind and out of her mouth. "Hey, Lily, how old did you say you are, again? Thirty-sommat?"

There was silence for a moment as Gakupo repressed laughter and Lily's anger steadily piled up.

"_Do I look thirty to you? !"_

**Author's Note: So this is my 50****th**** Vocaloid story, everyone! Celebrate! And it's posted on Feb 29! So monumental! Haha, okay, thanks for reading, review if you have the chance please.**


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